We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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