Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
