No awkward lesbian experiences without me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
smell my finger.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
