Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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