Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize