tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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