Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
