I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
