i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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