Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
