Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
