the new term for farting is butt boxing.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize