two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
