I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
