i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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