he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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