Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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