whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
