You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
