I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
