She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
