I want to make a zoo with you.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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