All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
