The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
