i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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