Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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