I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
