Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
