I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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