I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
