I swear she didn't look like that last week.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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