I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
