Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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