I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
