Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
