am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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