the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
