our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
