I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
