Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How naked do you want me to be?
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