I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
