I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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