can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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