i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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