woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
