some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
