i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
