we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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