you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
