STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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