I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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