fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
