belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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