12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
