Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
