that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize