Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm both gender and math confused
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
