I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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